Marley Love

Hoola-Hooping

2009-07-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

I have to upload a few more of these. Camera ran out of juice.

Fourth of July Weekend 2009 Treasure Island

2009-07-06T07:50:00.000-07:00

Marley learned swimming independence this weekend. It was awesome.

Swingset Day

2009-02-28T22:17:00.000-08:00

Marley Scores A Goal

2009-02-22T11:01:00.000-08:00

She dribbled down the field so well, I got excited and forgot the camera entirely. Heh, heh, oh well.

Marley's First Soccer Game

2008-12-10T17:29:00.000-08:00

Marley had her first soccer game on Saturday. (I'm having trouble uploading the videos, sorry.) She did really well. All the kids did.

I had no idea how clueless these little kids are. After the game, I asked Marley if she likes her coach. She said yes, "and, what about my yellow coach? She's nice too."

Her yellow coach?

Oh, you mean the referee. She's never played in any kind of official game before, so of course she had no idea who the lady with the whistle was. 'Just one more adult, this one in a yellow shirt, telling me what to do.'

Can you imagine being so young and inexperienced, and thrown into a game with all these strange people watching, and other strange people yelling, "Run, Marley run! Kick the ball!" Jesus, I would have run away crying. But she did really well.

Cats Claws

2008-11-26T04:25:00.000-08:00

Explaining to Marley why we can't let our cats fight, because one cat has claws and the other doesn't.

Marley says, "Like you and me and Daddy don't have claws, but Mammy does and she can scratch. She hurts me sometimes with those claws."

Popcorn Garlic or The Logic of a Four-Year-Old

2008-11-25T09:57:00.001-08:00

This is Marley's second post. She has become very interested in the editorial content of her blog, but, apparently, was as frustrated by the 17 minute typing session of her last post as I was. So this one she's dictating to me. And it goes:

This morning I watched Doodlebops. Then we made a popcorn garlic to hang on our tree. And love Daddy.

Doodlebops? Really? WTH? I've got to get off FB & Twitter. Popcorn "garlic" must be what she heard when I said popcorn garland. I didn't have the heart to correct her, it was too cute. The last sentence is typical of the inaneness she insists upon.

The funniest part of the whole morning happened when we were making the garland. It won't make sense without a little background info, so here goes:

Marley's always been interested in China. Although she's too young to understand the implications, she's fascinated that most of the things in our house come from factories in China, especially her beloved Puppy.

Well, while we were stringing popcorn after popcorn onto a thread that stretched half the length of the living room, she muttered, "We're working like Chinese workers." I practically choked on my popcorn laughing.

Puppy

2008-12-07T20:50:00.001-08:00

IMG_4867
Originally uploaded by stubbygray

This little guy is who I'm talking about when I mention Marley's beloved Puppy.

I honestly don't remember how old she was when she "fell in love" with him. She's been carrying him everywhere for two, maybe three years.

You can see that his nose is stitched. It's because Marley's self-discovered, self-soothing technique is to suck her thumb while scratching Puppy's nose. It's quite cute.

This is an old picture. When I saw it I thought, Oh, look how big Puppy's nose used to be. I'm no seamstress, so these days that nose is all puckered inside the green muzzle, held together by an unruly mass of red thread, and, of course, a mother's love. Heh.

When they made her an "Honorary Kindergartener" earlier this school year, Marley was required to give up her naps--which also meant that she had to leave Puppy at home.

I wasn't sure how this was going to go over, but she was ready. She usually brings him along for the ride in the morning, and I leave him in the car, making sure to sit him up in the carseat for when she gets out.

We've had a few "incidents" over the years. We've left him at Mammy's three times. The first two we drove a half hour there and a half hour back again, late at night, to retrieve him. The third time, Corey thought she should deal with the consequences of forgetting him.

But of course, a sentence like that creates instant karma, since WE, the parents, are the only ones around to deal with her dealing with said consequences. It's heartbreaking to see how sad she gets if she has to sleep without him. She literally cries herself to sleep while I rub her back.

During our most recent mini Disney vacation, we got halfway back to our hotel before realizing we'd left him in the biggest Disney store in the world. Nice. I was sick to my stomach thinking, this is it, he's gone forever. Corey wordlessly concurred.

Nevertheless, we hit the ground running. I jumped off the bus and ran to the concierge, asking him to call the store. "You see, we lost her lovey--he's a yellow bear but she calls him Puppy--we think he's in the big Disney store! " I felt like such a... a... parent trying to explain this to some college kid.

Listen, buddy, I know it's just a stuffed animal, but finding this freakin' thing really is a matter of life and death. Are you a parent? No? Well, trust me. When you are a parent you'll understand. When you love a little someone who loves a freakin' doll so much it would BREAK HER HEART to lose it, you'll understand.

Then I soothed an already weepily-exhausted child while Corey took the not-so lightning fast Disney buses back to the store to pick him up. Door to door to door, it added just under three hours to what was a long day to begin with. But, thank the gods! Puppy had been found by a customer, turned in, and was enjoying the scenery (and I can only imagine the staff's loving attention) when Corey arrived.

How do you say "Relief!" ?

I once found an identical Puppy on ebay (they're rare) but, sadly, I did not shop victoriously. Doesn't matter anyway. Even a perfect clone wouldn't be her Puppy. It's a testament to the power a child has over the adults in his or her life. Love is such a circular thing. It's funny how much Puppy has become a part of our family. We love her, she loves Puppy, therefore, we love Puppy too.

Quitting Our Vices As a Family

2008-12-01T08:00:00.000-08:00

Corey and I announced to Marley that we're going to quit smoking.

She responded by jumping up and down, happier about the news than I anticipated, and saying, "Ok, and I'll quit picking my nose!"

What's That Called Again?

2008-11-28T06:56:00.000-08:00

When asked what Marley would like from the grocery store, she says, "Corn. But not the broken apart corn. The corn that's stuck together. What's that called again?"

It's called "corn on the cob."

I Wrote it Myself!

2008-11-23T07:56:00.001-08:00

Marley wanted to type a blog post all by herself. And here you have it:

i am having a private tea party with just me and my mom. we are having tea and cookies. cookies to dip in my tea. that's all i want to say.

After 17 minutes of spelling each word, letter by letter, and her hunting and pecking, we completed the project. Painstaking fun.

Humble Pie Anyone?

2008-11-18T15:22:00.000-08:00

As I hang up the phone, I tell Marley, "Dad says he loves you." She's in the backseat, a little distracted, counting the mailboxes on our street.

She asks, "Why? Why does he love me?"

"Well, because he's your dad and he thinks your awesome," I answered. "Just like I think you're awesome. Just like you think we're awesome."

She scrunches her eyebrows together and rolls her eyes up to her forehead in her classic let-me-think-about-that look.

Then she declares, "Well, I don't think you're awesome, but I do love you."

Miss Beth

2008-10-01T17:43:00.000-07:00

Marley's teacher, Miss Beth, made a point to tell me two days in a row that Marley was chosen to be line leader, two days in a row, because she's so cooperative and quiet. We all appreciate that Beth is giving Marley recognition and attention for being good. Marley likes it especially. For a while, she was frustrated and during the Olympics she said, "Why don't they give medals to kids who listen and are always good?"

So, I can see that Beth's positive attention is really motivating her, and that it makes her feel proud of herself. We're all very happy that Miss Beth is her teacher this year. She and Corey and I are all on the same page when it comes to Marley's needs.

Plus, the two of them have really connected. Beth told me the other day that she opened a piece of chocolate after lunch. Marley sat down next to her and, Beth said, "...gave me that face."

I know that face.

Beth told me Marley said, "Miss Beth, I like chocolate too."

"And you know, that face, I couldn't resist," Beth explained, "so I shared my chocolate with her. I hope you don't mind. It's just... that face."

Hawks and Bees and Gators, Oh My

2008-11-03T18:55:00.001-08:00

We checked out a new park today, Edward Medard Park, not 15 minutes from our house. The sun shone gloriously over the expanse of still water. A hawk overhead, and all kinds of herons, a sandhill crane, grackles, a jurassic pelican, and a few anhingas roosted in a large thatch alongside the bridge across the waterway. A breeze rippled the water and made the heat of midday pleasant. We found an "observation" tower at the end of the bridge, but the trees had grown up so tall around it that there wasn't much of a view. So we explored.

It was quiet. Naturally quiet. This quiet has been hard to find in the state, county and federal parks we've visited here in Florida. Usually a background roar of car and/or airboat engines distract from the peace one is supposed to encounter in nature. Today, I could hear cars, but they were far enough away that I was able to tune them out.

We walked into the woods, Corey taking the lead, of course, Marley in the middle, and Old Mom (me) bringing up the rear. We walked along unofficial trails carved out by small groups of visitors who'd come before us to smoke a joint, have a beer, harass alligators. Their presence was obvious by the occasional red plastic cups and cigarette butts they left behind.

The trail snaked around the high banks on the water's edge. Marley maneuvered through the vines, brush and tree roots like an old pro. Every so often, we'd encounter an open descent toward the water. Corey would tell us to stay put while he slunk down to check for alligators. It was clear we were not alone.

Swooshsplash! I turned my head just in time to see a four- or five-foot gator crash ungracefully into the shimmering water. "Gator! Gator!" I yelled to Marley and Corey. It was the closest we'd been to a wild gator since moving to Florida, so our hearts beat with excitement.

On our way down the next bank, we heard another splash and caught sight of a second gator, about 8 feet long, with a head bigger than all of Marley. We were on top looking down on his glistening bumpy hide as he swam away.

We moved on along the rugged path to the next opening. Corey skulked down one opening, while Marley and I checked out another very close by. I was holding Marley's hand when I came around a slight bend just in time to hear an enormous SPLASHHH! and see a huge 10 foot gator writhe and bend as he splashed into the water below.

It frightened all of us. Corey was closer to him than we were, but his view was partially blocked by trees, so he didn't see the gator until he splashed into the water. Marley "cried two little tears" she said later, and moaned, "I'm afraaaaaid." I picked her up onto my hip like the toddler that she was not so long ago and told her it was okay. We were safe.

Corey rushed back to our side of the bank and we all stood there, hearts pounding, eyes wide. Frightened but exhilarated.

We continued on this path, but I had become nervous. Corey went to check out another opening in the path. However, Marley and I were too close to the water for my comfort, too low. I know alligators cannot climb steep banks, so I felt relatively safe up there. Down here, I felt like, well, a sitting duck. I continued to hold Marley like a baby and I noticed she didn't squirm to get down. The size of the last two gators reminded me that they could break her in one hearty chomp.

I encouraged Corey to stop exploring now and start heading back. He took one more excursion toward the water and when I asked him to come back, Marley patted my hand and in a peaceful little voice said, "Stay calm, Mama. Stay calm." She was patting my hand like a little old lady! She's such a trip.

Definitely a nature walk to remember.

Hawks and Bees and Gators, Oh My

2008-11-03T18:55:00.000-08:00

We checked out a new park today, Edward Medard Park, not 15 minutes from our house. The sun shone gloriously over the expanse of still water. A hawk overhead, and all kinds of herons, a sandhill crane, grackles, a jurassic pelican, and a few anhingas roosted in a large thatch alongside the bridge across the waterway. A breeze rippled the water and made the heat of midday pleasant. We found an "observation" tower at the end of the bridge, but the trees had grown up so tall around it that there wasn't much of a view. So we explored.

It was quiet. Naturally quiet. This quiet has been hard to find in the state, county and federal parks we've visited here in Florida. Usually a background roar of car and/or airboat engines distract from the peace one is supposed to encounter in nature. Today, I could hear cars, but they were far enough away that I was able to tune them out.

We walked into the woods, Corey taking the lead, of course, Marley in the middle, and Old Mom (me) bringing up the rear. We walked along unofficial trails carved out by small groups of visitors who'd come before us to smoke a joint, have a beer, harass alligators. Their presence was obvious by the occasional red plastic cups and cigarette butts they left behind.

The trail snaked around the high banks on the water's edge. Marley maneuvered through the vines, brush and tree roots like an old pro. Every so often, we'd encounter an open descent toward the water. Corey would tell us to stay put while he slunk down to check for alligators. It was clear we were not alone.

Swooshsplash! I turned my head just in time to see a four- or five-foot gator crash ungracefully into the shimmering water. "Gator! Gator!" I yelled to Marley and Corey. It was the closest we'd been to a wild gator since moving to Florida, so our hearts beat with excitement.

On our way down the next bank, we heard another splash and caught sight of a second gator, about 8 feet long, with a head bigger than all of Marley. We were on top looking down on his glistening bumpy hide as he swam away.

We moved on along the rugged path to the next opening. Corey skulked down one opening, while Marley and I checked out another very close by. I was holding Marley's hand when I came around a slight bend just in time to hear an enormous SPLASHHH! and see a huge 10 foot gator writhe and bend as he splashed into the water below.

It frightened all of us. Corey was closer to him than we were, but his view was partially blocked by trees, so he didn't see the gator until he splashed into the water. Marley "cried two little tears" she said later, and moaned, "I'm afraaaaaid." I picked her up onto my hip like the toddler that she was not so long ago and told her it was okay. We were safe.

Corey rushed back to our side of the bank and we all stood there, hearts pounding, eyes wide. Frightened but exhilarated.

We continued on this path, but I had become nervous. Corey went to check out another opening in the path. However, Marley and I were too close to the water for my comfort, too low. I know alligators cannot climb steep banks, so I felt relatively safe up there. Down here, I felt like, well, a sitting duck. I continued to hold Marley like a baby and I noticed she didn't squirm to get down. The size of the last two gators reminded me that they could break her in one hearty chomp.

I encouraged Corey to stop exploring now and start heading back. Corey took one more excursion toward the water and when I asked him to stop, Marley patted my hand and said, "Stay calm, Mama. Stay calm." In such a peaceful little voice, patting my hand like a little old lady. She's such a trip.

Definitely a nature walk to remember.

Good Little Witch

2008-10-31T19:22:00.000-07:00

Marley handed out stickers to every single person who gave her candy tonight. At every door she announced, "Trick or Treat. I'm a witch. I have stickers."

Then she painstakingly took her sticker book out of her little bag, opened up to a specific page, picked and clawed at each sticker to get it off, placed it on the subject's hand, then finagled the awkward, flopping book back into her bag.

She went through this lengthy routine before picking up a single piece of candy from the offerers. It was hilariously adorable. And people were all very patient through this ordeal. She was so cute. Her natural generosity is an inspiration.

She was a cute little witch too, I must say.

Disney's Hollywood Studios

2008-10-05T23:50:00.000-07:00

Marley was so excited she couldn't sleep last night. She couldn't wait to go to the "brand new Disney World." Brand new to her because she'd never been to Hollywood Studios.

Despite all the fun, music, characters, rides, fireworks and overall Disney wonder, if you ask her, she'll tell you that her favorite memory of the day was "the man in the hole."

Outside the Indiana Jones venue, there's a fake mine, with tools laying about and a sign that says, "Do NOT Pull the Rope." When you pull the rope, a recording of a man's voice plays from inside the hole. He appears to be alternatively mumbling, and yelling up for people to "stop pulling the rope." Well, Papa Billy kept pulling the rope. At first they were giggling together, like fresh schoolkids. She thought it was hilarious. And Billy likes to pretend, thinks it's important for kids. So he had her believing that there was really a man down there.

Then she started to wonder if "the man" was okay. I played along and said, "Maybe you should ask him if he needs any help." So she yelled down the hole, "Are you ok down there? Do you need any help?" And Billy would discreetly pull the rope and "the man" would start mumbling again. We all got a good laugh, and eventually moved on.

You know, Corey and I have been against the whole Santa Claus lie since day one. We just think it's an insult to a child's intelligence to fool them. Besides, it causes trust issues later on. But today, for the first time, I've questioned that decision.

After the Star Wars ride she asked, "Did we really go into outer space, Mama?" all excited.

No, Kiddo, it's just pretend.

Disappointment.

"That's not really The Beast is it Mama? It's someone wearing a costume."

Yes, Kiddo, it's just pretend.

Disappointment.

"Wow that truck really blew up!"

Um, no, Kiddo, it's just pretend.

Disappointment.

This happened repeatedly throughout the day. Her bright eyes would cloud over slightly and her enthusiasm slouch down before my eyes.

When we got home, we were getting ready for bed and she wondered out loud if the man in the hole was ok. She said, "Maybe he was hurt down there. Maybe something fell on his head."

She was so earnest in her concern that I didn't have the heart to tell her that the man was just pretend. So I reassured her that the park was closed and he was done working for the day. That he'd gone home, had a nice dinner with his family, and gone to bed. I told her we'd check on him next time we go to the park which finally satisfied her.

But now I've broken my promise never to lie to her. Ugh. Sorry, Kiddo. What can I say? Parenting is complicated. Someday you'll understand, I hope.

I treasure her innocence. I also treasure her trust. Today I'm afraid I diluted both just a little. I'm grateful she's strong and smart.

And we did have a really fun day, so, let's just leave it at that.

More Pics of Marley's New 'Do

2008-10-12T19:20:00.001-07:00

She really loves this new haircut. This morning, she was on her way out for "Pancake Day" with her Grampy. She came into my bedroom to get the hair wax, "because you have to put the wax in before you go out, right Mama?"

Mostly I see that she holds her head higher, and appears more confident and empowered. It's funny. I didn't know it would make such a big difference for a four year old. Silly me.

Snakebite!

2008-10-11T15:15:00.000-07:00

Well, Kiddo just got her "first snake bite." She was feeding Goldie, the rosy boa, but apparently didn't let go of the mouse. The snake got her left thumb instead of the mouse.

All I heard was a frightful scream over Corey's voice, and I ran. I've never heard my kid scream like that. It took five years off my life. She's over it already, and my heart's still doing flips.

She cried and wailed while Corey ran it under cold water and checked for stray teeth. Then I held her and we took some deep breaths together. That helped, both her and me.

While we breathed, Corey explained to her that now she's a "real creature girl." That people who keep snakes get bit occasionally and so this, her first bite, is a grand event. We quickly turned it into a positive so she wouldn't be traumatized for the rest of her life. She asked him how many times he's been bitten and was impressed when he told her six or seven.

When she'd calmed down, she opened the slider and announced, "Grampy, I just got my first snake bite."

Just like that. Now she's fine. She said, "Next time I feed him, I'll make sure to let go."

I am so grateful she's not as sensitive a child as I was. If that were me at four years old, I'd be terrified of snakes forever. In less than ten minutes she was already thinking about "next time." As I write this, she's gone right back to helping Corey feed the rest of them. My kid's brave and tough. I admire her more and more every day.

Doctor, Lawyer, Astronaut?

2008-09-05T10:14:00.001-07:00

Marley said today that she's going to work in a warehouse when she grows up. I shuddered and explained that there are lots of fun and exciting jobs in the world. She exclaimed, "There are?!"

I told her she can swim with dolphins, or be a doctor (I had to throw that in of course), or even do Curious Creatures shows like Dad. She said, "Oh, I want to do Curious Creatures shows like Daddy."

And I said, "Sure, or you could be a writer, like mama."

She replied, "But I don't know how to write the words."

I said, "That's ok, you'll learn. You have 13 years of school left and then college."

She asked, "What's college?" very interested.

I explained, "College is school for grown ups."

She got very excited. "Ohhh! Is college fun, mama?"

Ha! You've no idea kid. "Yes it's fun. And there's even such a thing as a women's college."

"You mean no boys go there?"

"That's right."

"I want to go to a girls college with no boys because I don't like boys. They spit."

Beautiful.

Flight of the Balloon

2008-09-17T18:15:00.000-07:00

Just now, on the way home from ma's, Marley's "Happy Anniversary" balloon to us blew out the jeep window. She was devastated. It was her "favorite" balloon.

When she got home and told Grampy, he cheered her up with a story about getting her a gaZILLion balloons. While brushing her teeth, she pondered the thought.

Then she said something profoundly compassionate for a four year old. She said, "Mama, if we get all those balloons, maybe we can find kids who lost their balloons and give them some. Then they'll be happy again."

I was amazed that she could turn it around so quickly--understanding that other kids who lost their balloons would feel the same way she did. And caring enough about them to want to do something about it.

What a miracle she is.

Marley's First Camping Trip

2008-04-28T19:45:00.001-07:00

This video was taken during Marley's first camping trip. We spent the weekend at Lake Kissimmee State Park and saw lots of animals on our nature walks, and right in our campsite. I'm grateful Marley really enjoyed it. We all had so much fun that we're going camping again next weekend.

Bouncy House Fun on a Rainy Afternoon

2008-10-09T17:31:00.001-07:00

I think this is one of the "funnest" things Marley has ever done. Corey too.

Marley's New 'Do

2008-10-06T18:20:00.001-07:00

Before:

After:

She's been asking for short hair "like yours" (that's mine) since our last appointment with Melissa. She was disappointed last time that the bob wasn't nearly as short as she wanted. And lately she's been complaining about it hanging in her face. I know how that feels, so I couldn't really argue with her.

Instead I explained that it's going to be a big change and people are going to remark on it. I felt it necessary to warn her because I've noticed she doesn't like it when people comment on her appearance. Then we looked for pics of short hairstyles online, and she chose one that looked just like mine. Melissa modified it some and left her a little more length than me. It's SO freakin' cute on her. She was thrilled.

Let's Go to the Mall

2008-10-01T17:26:00.001-07:00

Marley and I decided to go to the mall today after school (instead of the library). She was excellent company and I'm sure she'd say the same about me.

We shopped for princess costumes in the Disney Store for a little. Then on to the play area where, for the first time, my kid was the biggest of them all. It was fun to look at her next to the toddlers. Awesome to see how much she's grown and learned. I can see her confidence growing as she becomes more familiar with life's everyday experiences. And with people.

Later we walked back to the carousel and she chose to sit in the big coach with two older girls. She made that decision all by herself. When I was asked by the attendant to accompany her, I joined them and we all had a charming ride together.

And the best part was an early dinner in Panera. Right off, Marley was impressed with the display of cookies and treats. I ordered my sandwich to go because I didn't think she'd sit there long enough for me to eat. But she found a cozy table in an alcove and set it up for the both of us. I got her a large chocolate chip cookie, but made her eat some of the tomato and mozzarella sandwich first. She thought it was "deLIcious." And she thought the restaurant was better than "all of them" except Mazzaro's. "You know the place we went with Mamie that was outside and had all the really good food? This restaurant has really good cookIES and breAD and SANDwiches? That place had lots and lots of really good food." I had to agree.

It was simply a pleasant afternoon. While eating, I told her, "I really like hanging out with you." And she concurred. I'm grateful we had the chance to have a nice afternoon together.